tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
