I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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