What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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