the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
