her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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