Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
