Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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