I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
