I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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