Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
