proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
