What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Buhtt sex?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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