I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
