I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I met the friendliest cop last night
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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