I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
