he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
