It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
