ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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