i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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