it wasn't lemon gatorade
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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