let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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