I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
