I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
