So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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