yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
