Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
