My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
