I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
