Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
