you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
