She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
