Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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