piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
