I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
