she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
