If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
