So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
