I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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