remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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