drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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