Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
