the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You were trust falling into bushes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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