woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
