Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
