How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
