addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
