I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
