I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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