are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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