your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I understand Curling. That high.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
