You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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